


House Rule of the Avengers Tower #53

by Thette



Series: Strange little drabbles [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Action Figures, Avengers Tower, Crack, Dirty Jokes, Domestic Avengers, Gen, Humor, Sorry Not Sorry, sexual content but no actual sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 21:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thette/pseuds/Thette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>House rules of the Avengers Tower #53: Respect each other's personal property, even when said property is left in the communal living areas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	House Rule of the Avengers Tower #53

**Author's Note:**

> Total and utter crack. I am not sorry.

_House rules of the Avengers Tower #53: Respect each other's personal property, even when said property is left in the communal living areas._  
  
"Puny God," Clint said in a mock Hulk voice. Bruce entered the kitchen, and wished he hadn't heard that.  
  
"I'm going to try and ask nicely what you two," he stared at Tony and Clint, "have done with my mint condition, first edition Avengers action figures. When I left to get groceries, I had one Bruce Banner and The Hulk; one Captain America and Peggy; one Iron Man, with detachable armor, and Pepper Potts; one Thor, with Mjölnir, and Jane Foster; one Hawkeye and Black Widow; all in their unopened original packaging." He surveyed the obscene plastic circus on the kitchen table. Iron Man's armor was partially detached, specifically the face plate and the pelvis part. The action figure captured Tony's annoying smirk perfectly, and he was posed behind Captain America as if he were fucking him doggy style. Cap had his face buried between The Hulk's ass cheeks. The Hulk fucked Pepper Potts, and held Peggy and Thor in his giant hands. Peggy was pegging Thor with Mjölnir in a string contraption, while The Hulk sucked him. On the other side of the table, Hawkeye and Bruce Banner were DP-ing Black Widow, who had her face between Jane Foster's legs. Someone had drawn menstrual blood on Jane's trousers and Black Widow's face with a red marker. Bruce could feel the anger rise. "What the hell is this?" he growled.  
  
Tony and Clint both showed their work with a flourish. "The Aristocrats!" they said in unison.  
  
The last thing Bruce heard before the green mist overtook him was Steve. "Hey! I understood that reference!"  
  
 _House rules of the Avengers Tower #54: This goes double for Bruce's things._


End file.
